Everyone Has a Valentine But Me !!!

Friday, February 6th, 2009 at 12:00 AM by Ruth Tynes / Online Editor / InTheTimes.com

Q: It's that time of year again... Valentine's Day... This year all of my friends have boyfriends to spend the holiday with and my parents are going out on a date together. So I'll be home all by my lonesome... I am so totally bummed! I'm going to have to keep myself from crying when all of the girls are getting balloons, flowers, candy, and cards delivered to the classroom and I get nothing! That stinks! Any advice?

Ruth: No cliché answers here, girls all over the world (and plenty of guys too) will be bummed out this February 14th at not having a significant other to celebrate Valentine's Day with. So, the first piece of advice is to remember that you are not alone!

Yes, it feels soooo bad to have to sit through what seems like 'all of the girls in your class / school ' getting Valentine's Day gifts. It feels like 'everybody ' is taking an account and looking around to taunt and snub those who didn't get anything (yes, there are a few mean girls who will be doing this). But, as hard as it may be, be happy for the girls who are receiving nice things! Maybe ask them to show you what they received, you know they'll enjoy showing it off (smile!) Plus, you might make a few new acquaintances / friends in the process.

As for your friends spending the holiday with their boyfriends, be happy for them, don't try to put a guilt trip on them because you aren't going out with a boy. Continue to be a friend to them, be that ear that they can call on to talk about their date and celebrate with. Be happy for your parents too, don't make them feel guilty for leaving you at home, let them enjoy their special holiday date.

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the LORD. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (Romans 12:9-18, NIV)

Now, here comes the really hard part... Be confident because you have Godly standards when it comes to dating and romantic relationships.

Just having 'a date ' on Valentine's Day (or any other holiday / special occasion) is unacceptable. Your dating choices should be God-lead, not just 'because you don't want to be alone ' on Valentine's Day, etc. OR because 'everyone else you know ' is dating OR just because a guy (that you like OR kind-of-could-get-to-like-because-he-asked-and-is-kinda-cute-now-that-you-mention-it OR didn't-know-existed-until-he-asked-me-out-but-that-must-be-a-sign-because-nobody-else-has-asked-and-yeah-he's-kinda-cute-now-that-you-mention-it) asked you out.

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." (Proverbs 14:1, NIV)

Now, think about the people that you know that currently have a 'significant other'... Yup, this includes married people. Now, think about all of the drama that they go through on a daily basis because they made poor decisions when it came to dating / marriage... Having a nice quiet night at home to yourself is starting to look pretty good, eh? Lol!

The apostle Paul made a wise observation in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 "An unmarried man is concerned about the LORD's affairs -- how he can please the LORD. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world -- how he can please his wife -- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the LORD's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the LORD in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world -- how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the LORD." (NIV)

Enjoy your single life! Use this time to grow close to the LORD and learn how you should be further living life. Because (if God has given you the desire to be married) one day you'll be responsible for teaching your children these same Biblical life principles. You don't want to come off to your children as a hypocrite, so take the time to learn it and live it now, so when they are born, being a Godly example will not be so awkward and unfamiliar to you. Cleaning up your act now is much easier than with little eyes watching and seeing you not practice what you preach! =)

Now, the purpose of this little thinking exercise was to remind us of both sides of the equation of having a date. Do not, I repeat, do not get all holier than thou and thinking that you're better than all of the girls with b/f's. The apostle Paul also observes, "But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Corinthians 7:2; 7-9, NIV)

I love our InTheTimes.com Entertainment Blog feature, "Once Upon a Time Real Life Love Stories" because we interview a variety of women from a variety of life circumstances and they share their road to finding their Prince Charming. Some saved their first kiss for the marriage altar, some ladies first boyfriend ended up being their husband, and yet some made mistakes and poor choices in their dating decisions, but when they surrendered this part of their life to the LORD, He provided the right Prince Charming for them, right when they needed him!

All of these ladies advice to InTheTimes.com Girls is always based on the same Biblical principles...patience, confidence, vision, and purity!

"Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.

Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret -- it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land. A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found. But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace." (Psalm 37:1-11, NIV)

So, this Valentine's Day and every other Valentine's Day after this (date or no date) don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself, get busy! Have a vision for your life and where you want the LORD to help you go. Take advantage of your time alone and talk to God about life, He promises to guide you if you will let Him.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity." (Jeremiah 29:11-14, NIV)

Happy Valentine's Day ITTgirls !!!

* P.S. - Oh, and just in case you were wondering...yes, I will be one of those dateless V-day girls =) So this is advice coming from years of first-hand experience! (wink, wink, lol!)

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