A Response : "When I hear stuff like this coming from kids, it makes me mad. I automatically think that this person is probably jealous, judgmental, and unfriendly themselves.
Why should so much pressure be put on Youth Ministers to get to know every kid personally. I think that they should work harder at trying to be involved.
We have a large Youth Group and can't possibly keep up with everyone. I wonder is this coming from someone who is showing up to all of the Events, is this person involved in Small Groups, or is this coming from someone who just shows up to Service and expects us to make them the center of attention."
Keep in Mind :
+ Examine why this makes you mad. In Christian Ministry, it is important to have balanced emotions and be able to look at situations objectively. (see Psalm 37:8, Proverbs 15:1, Proverbs 29:7-8, Ecclesiastes 7:8-9)
+ Key word here is "probably". In Christian Ministry, it is also important to not make quick judgments about the people you are supposed to be ministering to on behalf of the LORD Jesus Christ. Deal with facts. (see Proverbs 29:14, Proverbs 31:8-9, Matthew 7:2, John 7:24)
+ This is where it is important to define your ministry focus, and make sure that it is clearly verbalized--as to not cause any confusion. (see Galatians 1:6-10, Galatians 5:7-10)
For example, a Youth Ministry whose main focus is to provide a weekly Worship Service for tweens, teens, and young adults and that is it, needs to clearly verbalize that.
In a Worship Service, there is not time for building personal relationships. If that is clearly communicated, then there goes "the pressure" from the Church Congregation for you to be providing that.
If you are a Church that does not offer Volunteer Ministry Positions, then clearly verbalize that. If it is understood that all of the "Church functions" will be handled by paid Church Staff and their families and friends, then again, there goes the expectation from the Church Congregation for equal opportunity policies to be put into action.
If you are a Youth Ministry whose primary focus are "at-risk youth" and that is clearly communicated, then the child who does not struggle with the cliche "drugs, sex, and rock & roll" does not have to wonder anymore why they may not "fit in".
Many "misunderstandings" come from a mere lack of communication, understanding, and clarity.
* This is an excerpt from the book In the Times Girls Ministry by Ruth Tynes. Copyright 2006. It may not be reprinted or posted without written permission from the author. Please contact for reprint permission.
